| The news of their arrival reached these shores long | | | | our little friends have been smoking a bit of the old |
| before they did. A massive ad campaign introduced | | | | Teletubby weed?There are loud speakers that arise |
| them to America and touted their status as Britain's | | | | from the flowerbeds and order the Teletubbies around. |
| "New Fab Four." There was an extensive media blitz | | | | There is a magic windmill that sits high on a hill and |
| launched by the television network that would carry | | | | spews a glittery substance (I'm having it analyzed) into |
| their already "wildly- successful in Europe" half hour | | | | the air. The windmill activates the TV screens that are |
| show. And there was a steady stream of network | | | | lodged in the Teletubbies' stomachs. These screens |
| news coverage, including the now-famous segment on | | | | show video clips of real children wreaking havoc on |
| Nightline in which Ted Koppel used the word "cute" a | | | | the world; jumping up and down on the beds, |
| hundred and sixteen times and just for the briefest | | | | screaming at the top of their lungs, making a mess in |
| second, actually seemed to smile.I must admit, all the | | | | the bathroom, etc. All the things you discourage your |
| hoopla did make me wonder whether or not their | | | | kids from doing the Teletubbies make seem like fun |
| coming to America was such a good thing. What | | | | (this is to instill a disregard for authority, I'm |
| affect would they have on our impressionistic youth? | | | | sure).Everything is provided for our furry, little friends |
| Would our children cry and scream in unadulterated | | | | when they crash in their hi-tech Tubby house. They |
| joy at the sight of these new superstars? Would they | | | | eat Tubby Toast and Tubby Custard (munchies), and |
| fall flat on their diapered bottoms and call out their | | | | are always under the watchful bug eyes of a noisy |
| names? Was it to be Barney-mania all over again? | | | | vacuum cleaner named Noo-noo (obviously their |
| Only time would tell. Nevertheless, I prepared myself | | | | parole officer).Here's further proof from PBS Online, |
| for the worst.So, from across the ocean they came, | | | | home of the Teletubbies website: |
| this New Fab Four, singing and dancing and, much like | | | | "Tinky Winky is the biggest Teletubby. His favorite |
| the original group, talking with accents so thick one had | | | | thing is his bag, which he likes to take out with him for |
| to listen closely to understand what they were saying. | | | | walks. He usually sings his song "Tinky Winky." He |
| But being understood has nothing to do with success. | | | | loves to dance and fall over on his back." |
| Their debut song, a cheerful, little ditty called, "Say Eh | | | | Notice they didn't say what's in Tinky Winky's bag, but |
| Oh" knocked the Spice Girls off the top of the charts | | | | we all know what's in there. Can you say, "Tubby |
| in England late last year and will probably give | | | | paraphernalia?" Then there's Dipsy, whose name, I |
| Madonna a run for her money here. I would venture to | | | | think, says it all. From PBS: |
| say they are now more popular than John Lennon, | | | | "Dipsy sings a song with a reggae beat and when he |
| especially among those who have no idea who John | | | | is feeling 'especially cool' will go for a walk by himself, |
| Lennon was.Who is this multi-talented group of young | | | | wearing his hat and singing the song." |
| performers that has the world in such a tizzy? They | | | | Ah, a Rastafarian Tubby, mon. Next, Laa Laa: |
| are Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa Laa and Po, or as they | | | | "Laa Laa is the happiest and most smiley of the |
| are called by fifty-eight gazillion kids around the world, | | | | Teletubbies. She too loves to sing and dance. Her |
| "The Teletubbies," and they are PBS's latest offering | | | | favorite word is 'nice'. Laa-Laa loves the way her ball |
| for viewers one-year old and up -- the group TV | | | | bounces and wobbles and grows bigger and smaller. |
| executives refer to as the "Daddy, buy me that!" | | | | Laa-Laa always likes to know where all of the |
| demographic.Now, if you don't have kids, especially little | | | | Teletubbies are. She has her own special La-la-la-la-la |
| ones, you probably have no idea who the Teletubbies | | | | song." |
| are. But if you do have kids and haven't been hiding | | | | Which I believe is sung to the tune of Jefferson |
| from them in a cave for the last few months, you are | | | | Airplane's 'White Rabbit.' And finally, there's Po, the |
| well aware of who these carpet-covered Kupie dolls | | | | smallest Teletubby. From PBS: |
| are. And like 'em or not, you have to agree that they | | | | "Po often jumps up and down to express her feelings |
| are the best damned babysitters since the | | | | of joy, enthusiasm, and surprise. The natural place for |
| aforementioned dinosaur named Barney. When the | | | | Po is to be on her scooter zipping around the hills. She |
| Teletubbies are on, my two-year old doesn't move. | | | | makes the noise "quickly, quickly, quickly" or "slowly, |
| She doesn't blink. In fact, I'm not even sure she | | | | slowly, slowly" when riding her scooter. Po spends a lot |
| breathes, so strong is the Teletubby allure.How best to | | | | of time on her own." |
| describe the Teletubbies to the uninitiated? Imagine | | | | This is the one that will go nuts one day and start |
| Barney without the wonderful singing and dramatic | | | | running over bunnies. "Po was always such a |
| acting. Think Mr. Rodgers without the expensive | | | | loner..."Whether it's an innocent kid's show or the |
| costumes, sets and musical arrangements. Think Bozo | | | | subliminal tool of some covert drug organization, |
| without the high drama. Think Captain Kangaroo on | | | | "Teletubbies" is not without its share of critics. Oddly |
| Quaaludes.Still don't get it? Let me put it into terms | | | | enough, it's the very simplicity of the show that sparks |
| you'll understand: if Pink Floyd produced a half-hour | | | | the most controversy. Critics accuse "Teletubbies" of |
| show for kids, this would be it. And you would enjoy it | | | | dumbing down children's television to the levels of |
| immensely. Guaranteed.Like a classic Pink Floyd album, | | | | "Baywatch" and "Wheel of Fortune." Po, say it ain't |
| there is something strangely hypnotic about this show. | | | | so..."I don't think babies have to watch television,'' Peggy |
| No matter what your age is, this show will calm your | | | | Charren, an advocate for better children's TV |
| nerves, relax your tired muscles, put your mind at ease. | | | | programming has said. "There's something creepy |
| It will numb your bones, soothe away tension and | | | | about propping an infant up in front of the television, no |
| make you go, "Whoa, dude..."In fact, after watching | | | | matter what's on.''Thank God for social watchdogs like |
| several hours of this show with my daughter (okay, | | | | Ms. Charren. If not for people like her they'd be |
| sometimes I watch it without her), I've come to the | | | | showing cigarette commercials on the Cartoon |
| conclusion that maybe, just maybe, the members of | | | | Network and passing out condoms with Happy Meals |
| Pink Floyd or some other '60s counter-culture group | | | | at McDonald's! Heaven knows there's nothing worse |
| really does have a hand in its production. Here is the | | | | that a two-year-old chainsmoker who packs a |
| evidence thus far:When the show begins, you enter | | | | condom and watches "dumbed-down" TV.Ms. |
| Teletubby Land; a land of green, rolling hills dotted with | | | | Charren, lighten up. "Teletubbies" is just a cute little |
| beautiful flowers (could those be Poppies?) and | | | | show that means no harm to anyone.And if you really |
| grazing bunny rabbits (could these be flying pigs in | | | | think it's such a bad thing to plop a kid down in front of |
| disguise?). The sky is always blue and filled with puffy | | | | a television set to keep them occupied for 30 minutes, |
| clouds. It is a truly happy place, watched over by an | | | | then come on over to my house and watch my |
| animated sun that has a real baby's smiling face. Then | | | | kids.My favorite show is coming on. Everybody say, |
| they appear; Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa Laa and Po, | | | | "Eh Oh!"From "Small Business Q&A" With Tim Knox |
| dancing and jumping around like giant Beanie Babies on | | | | Tim Knox is a nationally-known entrepreneur, author, |
| a hot stove. They have antennae on their heads and | | | | speaker, and radio show host. |
| TV screens in their stomachs. And they giggle alot, | | | | Tim has helped hundreds of entrepreneurs realize |
| even when nothing is apparently funny. Could it be that | | | | their business dreams. |